Does THAT love still exist? Did it ever exist at all? I know I still love her, but does her love continue to breathe when she no longer does? Does THAT love still live? Did it ever live at all?
Yes! I know it did, don’t I? I believe it did. But when I say “believe,” I don’t mean that I do so blindly, as the cynical might presume. There was evidence that, when she was among the living, she loved me.
When I met her, I met love. Unquestionably. I couldn’t test it in a lab or transpose it into a formula. But I never doubted that love lived within her. Her love for me was her very essence.
I knew she loved me. Not merely because she told me she did, though she often did. But because of how she held me, looked at me, hugged me, spoke to me, prayed for me, encouraged me.
It was evident in the way she would squint her tear-glazed eyes and nod with compassion when I spoke to her about my hope that God will one day make all things right.
She was proud of me. She saw me for who I wanted to be and forgave the parts of me that weren’t really me. I don’t just believe that she loved me. I know she did.
But now that she’s gone does THAT love still exist? Or did it sing its last song as her heart gave its last beat? Did her cremation represent what already happened with her love for me?
If it is still alive, why has it abandoned me? When I need someone whose faith is stronger than mine, where is she? When I need that look of compassion, where is she? When I need to hear her sweet voice, where is she?
A gentle soul consoles me, “ah, but she’s there in your heart!” I smile and nod. The only voice my heart hears is one of loneliness, neglect, and despair. I want to find her, but I can’t. Does her love still live after she’s gone?
I could fool myself into thinking they are right. Her love for me still lives in my heart. Maybe I should! But I don’t want the imaginary version of her. I want the real thing. I need the real love with which she loved me.
But wait! Her love must transcend the physical. It exceeds time and space. Why? Because, even while she was living, did not her love live too? Even when we were far away from one another, her love did live, indeed! I felt it without question, despite her physical absence.
How is that so, unless, perhaps, her love did live within me? And if it lived within me then, why could it not live within me now? What can separate me from her great love? Will despair or distress or oppression or hunger or vulnerability or danger or violence?
No, if nothing could separate me from her love then, then nothing can now. It still lives! Nothing can defeat such a love! Not death or life or angels or governments or the things of the past or the things in the future or the powers that be or the heavens or hells or anything at all can separate my soul from her love for me!
She has not abandoned me!
Her spirit now transcends time and space. Thus, when I see her in the memories of the past, or the dreams of my present, or the hope of some future reality, she meets me there. Not the imaginary version of her, but her within me, within her children, and her children’s children, and within any act of love. She winks at me. She lives. Her love lives. She has not abandoned me.
Love never fails, never ends, never abandons. It just expands until creation can no longer contain it. I do not believe many things. I do not know many things. But I know THAT love still exists. Both within and without creation. Creation declares the glory of her love. Creation declares the Glory of Love……….. I’m reminded of words of a prophet-
“My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn’t know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can’t know him if you don’t love.
My dear, dear friends, if God loved us like this, we certainly ought to love each other. No one has seen God, ever. But if we love one another, God dwells deeply within us, and his love becomes complete in us—perfect love!
God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and matures in us, so that we’re free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ’s. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love. God IS Love”………….
When I see her love I know she lives. And when I see her love I know there is a Creator who is the essence of selfless Love. I do not mean “know” in the objective, scientific, and materialistic sense. Oh, no! That is too shallow for this knowledge. I “know” because it is part of who I am. I have not been abandoned. I know she lives. I know God lives. I know Love is the fulfillment of all things. And NOTHING can separate me from Love. – Jesse
(References from the Message paraphrase of Scripture: 1 Cor. 13; 1 John 4; Rom. 8)